Sunday, June 5, 2011

To my future daughter-in-laws mommies...

Today I listened to a interview Julie B Beck did with her daughters on ldsradio (told ya, I really like Sister Beck!) which you can find HERE.

There was SOOO much good stuff, its gonna be a listen again and again one.

One thing that hit me (other than her one daughter mentioning sleepless nights...oh how I wish I didn't relate to that! Though she phrased those sleepless nights as "investments") Disclaimer: If you can't follow really long parenthetical phrases, I might not be the blogger for you to read:)

Okay, back to one of the many things that hit me. Sheri Dew,(around 33 minutes) who was conducting the interview asked if there was counsel that she routinely gave her daughters about dealing with the challenges of parenting?

Her answer...
I wanted to raise people who would be my friends when I was old...that means we had to do some things when their were young, that woudl build them into people I would enjoy being by when I was older...I wanted to be around thinkers, people who could laugh adn enjoy life...that menat I had to be a parent when their were young so I coudl be a friend when they were older... It is difficult to parent on a day to day bases with precision--your never perfect at it---it takes a lot of revelation and help to know how to get through a situation day by day and know what a need is for a unique person who is developing, and you don't know who they really are inside, and how to get that out. But your working towards building somebody you want to know when your older. If you can't build those characterstics in them when they're young, you won't like them when they're older.

And all I could think was, well sure, I will always LOVE my sons, but when I think about who I want to "hang out" with, I think of my future-daughters- laws. I often think about what I'm doing to raise my boys to be good husbands. That's probably why I get totally anxious about their "screen time" or eating habits (just gave McKye a bowl of cheezies to stay him off til supper), or their social skills and most importantly my greatest desire to have them love the Lord and His gospel, because I know so keenly that, the habits I help them develop---good or bad, what I help them BECOME will not just affect them, but it will effect their future family....especially their wives.

Perhaps these thoughts come to me often because I love my own mother-in-law so deeply. I appreciate so much all she did to teach her children--especially my husband.

But putting my own anxieties, and worries aside, for brief moment I felt so much... excitement, excitement for one day relationships. And then almost as quickly, I pictured a mother somewhere with a little girl, exhausted by her stubbornness (my mother-in-law always says "Just make sure they're stubbornly righteous!) And I just wanted to say, "Oh please, please don't give up! Please, keep teaching her WHO SHE IS! Don't just put bows in her hair, but put a testimony in her heart too, and courage in her mind. Help her know she can do hard things (because being married to my son, will probably at times be a hard things:) Develop her character. Teach her the power of her influence, because one day she will be the voice in my sons head, by his side, reminding him of the things that I will no longer be there to remind him of.

Wives are not mothers (sometimes a hard definition to maintain) but woman are woman and we are there to steady, support and nudge our men, whether they are 2 year olds we comfort when they fall and scrap their knees r almost 30 year old we encourage through a tough world-on-their shoulders type day. We are there to help them live true to their callings and privileges as sons of God.

So if your out there being a mommy of girls (whatever that looks like...maybe one day I'll know) let's make a pact. I'll try my hardest to make some righteous young men for your little girl to fall in love with, and you try your hardest to make me some stinkin' awesome daughters-in-law.

Deal? Deal.

Oh and PS I know traditionally the brides family plans the wedding, but can I help?
This is one of my fav pics I've ever taken of my my niece Evanny,(thought I'd add it in my post about girls) and a kitten at Grandma's she named, "Chicken".

This is my cute, cute, rolly-polly baby Levi, with Scarlett, our friends baby girl born the day after him. I love how they look like a little old couple: her so nurturing and concerned, and him just a little bashful. Yup, it'd sure look darling in a wedding slideshow, but I'm pretty certain she'll be outta his league.

ANd to make up for my silliness, one more great quote got it Sister Beck:

I was recently at a park where I met a group of women with mother hearts. They were young, covenant-keeping women. They were bright and had obtained advanced degrees from respected universities. Now they were devoting their considerable gifts to planning dinner that evening and sharing housekeeping ideas. They were teaching two-year-olds to be kind to one another. They were soothing babies, kissing bruised knees, and wiping tears. I asked one of those mothers how it came about that she could transfer her talents so cheerfully into the role of motherhood. She replied, “I know who I am, and I know what I am supposed to do. The rest just follows.” That young mother will build faith and character in the next generation one family prayer at a time, one scripture study session, one book read aloud, one song, one family meal after another. She is involved in a great work. She knows that “children are an heritage of the Lord” and “happy is the [woman] that hath [a] quiver full of them” (Ps. 127:3, 5). She knows that the influence of righteous, conscientious, persistent, daily mothering is far more lasting, far more powerful, far more influential than any earthly position or institution invented by man. She has the vision that, if worthy, she has the potential to be blessed as Rebekah of old to be “the mother of thousands of millions” (Gen. 24:60).

Millions sounds a little exhausting, right!?! For now I'll stick to 3.


cc said...Best Blogger Tips

I think the same thing...I just want so badly for my boys to turn out wonderful in every way:) and I hadn't thought about not planning the wedding...that just wouldn't work for me, ha ha...p.s. I love parenthesis and all of your posts....especially when they are at 4 in the makes me feel less bad when my kids are up at 5:30;)

Nadia said...Best Blogger Tips

Oh Chelsea. I just started reading your blog and I LOVE it! This post brought tears to my eyes. I can relate to you in so many ways. I admire your spirituality, chelsea, and I am thankful for your openness to share it with 'me'. You inspire me to work even harder to make my daughter stubbornly righteous and I am with you all the way with my boys!

PeavoyMom said...Best Blogger Tips

I love this. I hope every mother of girls reads this so that my boys can have awesome wives too, after all, your boys can't marry all the girls... right? The Lord sent us boys for a reason, so lets do it right!