Sunday, October 9, 2011

Thank-you note, to Heavenly Father

I  beleive in the power of saying thank-you. 

I firmly believe that expressed gratitude 
has more capacity to evoke change than complaints, 
 forges deeper bonds than any other means of togetherness, 
and soothes hurt and misunderstanding paving the way for sincerity, forgiveness and healing better than anything else.

Thank you is powerful.

This morning when I woke up I thought: Thanksgiving.
Giving thanks.
To who? (whom?)
If today were a thank-you note, the recipient would be God.

I thought about the many times my journal entries have become lists of my many, many blessings, named "one by one". I thought how my most memorable prayers have been those in which I have surrendered to a deep need to "confess the Lord's hand in all things", where my heart has swollen with an overwhelming sense of my indebtedness to Him who grants 
all things good.

I could easily, right now, start typing away at 
a long list of my current "grateful for"s .

But more than what I am thankful for, I am most thankful for knowing what a heart full of gratitude feels like.

When I closed my eyes this morning and just felt the sun flutter through the window and perch it's warmth on my eyelids, 
I felt. 
Yes I'm grateful for the sun, it's light, it's energy, it's bestowal of all things alive, and hence all growth, but in that moment, 
I was just glad to 
feel the sunshine.

So today as my belly fills with turkey...nope, I mean, yes there will inevitably be some turkey but it'll more likely get filled with pumpkin pie:)... and as my mind scrolls through the usual cast of my "many blessings list": family, friends, freedom...
love, laughter,life... safety, health--mind and body...
truth (so much truth!)... beauty, peace, love.

Instead of focusing on the list, 
I want to really tune in to how it feels.

So different from, the dissatisfied whining, wanting, impatient feelings I spend most of my life dragging about.

Gratitude is what I imagine we will be overcome with when we once again enter God's presence. 
I think His goodness and the realization of all that His grace makes possible, will evoke and draw out every particle of thankfulness within our souls, replacing it of course, 
with unbelievably pure love. 

If I can be close to God, and keep Him with me in 
my thoughts, and intentions, desires and doings
 gratitude will be a part of who I am.
Inversely if I want to be near God, I must give thanks.

Thank you Heavenly Father, for everything. 
For every moment of my existence 
(even the chaotic, even the humbling, even the devastating) Every detail--
 all part of a complex and completely designed experience 
to help me climb to the best within in me and
 eventually rise to the source of that good--Thee.

Oh and pumpkins! Thanks for pumpkins, 
fun to photograph and fun to eat, in pie form of course. 

Some photos from last thanksgiving and a little romp in the leaves (in which I am very pregnant.)

Ben's mom and Grandma (His grandma doesn't like this picture, says all she sees is wrinkles, but I love it, don't see any wrinkles, only smile lines working hard!

Aaron's smile and his laugh are pretty hard not to be grateful for, they're the best. Love that kid.

Classic Bretzke family photo: Me and Ben smiling at the camera, and the top of my boys uncooperative heads.

These are also from last year, I was still pregnant (over due) and we walked the corn maze for a couple hours hoping to get something going and still nothing! (Nothing but some cute pictures!)

Really is looking at the camera that hard???

Yup, apparently it is.

And a few of Levi, so he's not forgotten in this thankful post 
(just cuz he wasn't born last Thanksgiving)

And big thank you to my fabulous sisters 
Krista who always posing by the turkey for me!

and for self-portrait fun.
A couple from today:
and her darling daughter who
engaged my husband in staring contests all afternoon, it was too cute!
Ben 's holiday job: Screen distribution