On Sunday I had wandered from our pew to the back, pacing with Levi in my arms, giving him a change of scenery in what was fast becoming a long meeting. I was contemplated the words I chose thus far and wondering about his, when he reached his little face over, with his kissy-eyes, offering me a little open-mouth, slobber-filled beginners kiss. And as he planted one on me, his word came too.
With my other boys by this time another baby was either already "in the works" or "on the way". And although we're not done having kids we're on a much needed and I feel, divinely sanctioned "break". And so I have the luxury of holding on to Levi's babyhood more so than with his brothers, who had to grow up and become big brothers all too soon.
I just get to bask in his squish-able cheeks, and wide eyes. Watch his fascinated with his own tongue, or wiggling toes. I get to still chuckle inside when I watch him toddle so fast you're sure he's gonna bif it, but he rarely does. I get to try and remember every new expression, every determined and oh so concentrated manoeuvre of his tubby baby fingers on their quest to pick up peas or Cheerios or carpet fuzz, on their journey past his lips so relaxed their moisture inevitably runs to drool. His gurgling-chokey chuckle when I tickle under his chin. His baby smile of budding teeth. His still wispy blonde locks, that gleam in the light streaming across his high chair.
Levi is the dessert of my young mother years. And I'm ready to savour ever last delicious, whip-creamy bite. Enjoy! (mmm, anyone else suddenly hungry?)
the whole problem with people is--"
"They don't now what matters and what doesn't," I said, filling in her sentence and feeling proud of myself for doing so.
"I was gonna say, The problem is they know what matters, but they don't choose it...
The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters."