Quite the day! (a long post for a long day)

This post was written and accidentally deleted a few days ago and I had already spent TOO much time on it and couldn't bring myself to do it again. But after a few days to cool off, here it is.




Yesterday I got up early and went exercising. Which because exercising is way more about mental health and energy than weight for me, I decided I'd spend the rest of the morning snatching cookie dough and "sampling" melted chocolate.


For weeks now I've been reading Facebook statuses about Christmas baking.  And I finally figured, sure we'll get out the mixing bowls and have some fun.


And it was fun.


As far as any viable baking goods? Not so much. But it was fun.











Check out these lovlies. I've made these lots, but this time they just did not turn out (I might need new pans, at least I'll blame it on that:) 




Oh well the dough was tasty. At one point I decided to cut my losses, threw the dough in the fridge and will just enjoy them one spoonful at time a instead of making more "burnt offerings" to my oven. 

Really how much do you expect from the girl who went in the fridge to get eggs and found this:


Those ice cubes might take awhile, Chels.






Then again. We still got the important parts of baking.
Like batter on a beater...is there anything better?!?

Maybe chocolate off a wooden spoon....

Yes-ser ree we had fun making the cookies.

And there's still the Soft Molasses one's that needed refrigerated, I still have high hopes for them.

(PS because I'm writing this in retrospect I bring you news from the future...I went and bought new pans, and parchment paper, determined to have a baking success...they aren't awful, but not my best. And I still totally burnt the last batch because I apparently have no attention span for baking whatsoever! and got way distracted organizing kitchen drawers while I listened to this awesome mormon radio program which I'd write a whole post about but it's hard when there's no transcripts and I don't wanna quote wrong, so just listen to it, it had so many good points and motivated me through all my much needed kitchen drawer de-cluttering) While I did this...

They did this....
it was worse before they ate the popcorn all afternoon. 
And the drawer would be more impressive with a before shot too.
Order and Chaos: The battle rages on.






But I digress. The point: I still stink at baking. 
However, I can take fun pictures of our attempts:)

I did have a little more luck with our non-bake treat. 


I make this white chocolate, nuts and cranberries stuff...see it needed a name. SO I asked ben the first year I made it what it should be called.


He thought and then declared: "Christmas Love!"


I thought it was pretty cute, so that's what I call it.


So this year I kept asking Ben, "When are we making Christmas love?"


Ben kept laughing at me, until finally he clued me in that any form of "love making" was probably not the best idea for a family activity.  


Ha ha Benny.

I did need wax paper. I have a friend that lives really close and man is it handy! There's many super-time texts requesting forgotten ingredients. So just as I'm texting her to ask if she has some wax paper my phone signals an incoming text:

I thought it was so funny. She was replacing brown sugar that a few nights before her kid had watched me completely ransack my kitchen for (see it needed organizing!), while I kept reassuring him, "I KNOW I have some! I know I do...somewhere!

Oh so yummy and pretty too. 
(On my new fancy trays that I got on my last minute Great Falls girls trip...post to come!)

I chuckled at my  clever cookbook pun.

Levi "helped"the whole time. Pulling out everything he could form allt he cupboards, underfoot the whole time. By the end we'd made quite the mess.

But I decided to leave it all, included the pile of burnt cookies on the counter and go run some errands. 


I've decided hats are the short-haired girl's "ponytail". Although once you take them off its pretty darn scary. 

We'd finished up our errands and I was thinking of the clean-up awaiting me at home, when McKye saw and playground and called out, "wanna go park!" Probably because I was so eager to get washing I thought, "Sure. Why not!" I figured my kids were probably feeling about as desperate for a bit of exercise as I have been lately. We weren't really prepared for a romp in the snow, so I gathered up a bunch of random socks from all over the van and put them on my kids for mittens (why we had so many socks floating around and no mittens....???) and released my children from their carseats into the glorious snow for some wintry fun. 

Less than a minute in, McKye had already slipped (playground equipment offers absolutely no traction in these frosty conditions) and had big freezable tears running down his chilly cheeks. We managed to cheer him up enough for a few smile-inducing rides down the slide. 

I'd called my friend who lived really close and her and her little guy came on over. He was of course, properly clad for thee snowy venture, and quite enjoyed his own little game of on-purpose slipping onto his snow-pant-padded behind.

Aaron enjoyed eating mitts-full, um I mean socks-full of delicious snow, while I enjoyed a nice visit with my friend. 

So even though I think we all enjoyed some non-forced furnace air, along with the non-light bulbed, soul-warming sunshine, I still left with two outta three crying children, their little noses running onto their bit-too-cold cheeks. 

Again, on our way home to the dishes, and mcKey saved me again. 

"Wanna go my house!"

Which doesn't actually mean our house at all.  But our pantry sharing neighbour friends.  Pretty sure McKye would move in with them in a second. Levi probably would too. 

He's pretty popular over there.

We popped in for a "quick visit".

When will I ever learn!?! By the time I was finally roundin' everybody up her husband was already pulling in from work 

(I thought when we arrived I better not park in his spot, 

but rationalized we'd be long gone before then!)

Aaron had fallin' alseep. Oh yes, part of the reason this was such a long day was because Aaron decided to start it off  by waking up at 4 am! My other two, both had incredibly stinky bums that I being the "good mom" I am had kept putting off thinking I was about to leave anyway. 

While we chatted (happily postponing any cleaning, diaper changing or supper-prep) her oldest went out and shovelled our driveway! What great kids. Seriously.

Okay so we finally went home. I have a disaster of a kitchen, no supper plans and diapers to attend to. I threw Aaron in the shower to keep him awake, and guess who joined him while I was changing McKye.... Walked right in! An was pretty proud of himself.

Time to wrap this up. We had nachos for dinner. Still put off cleaning up while watching Phineas and Ferb episodes with the kiddos. (My new favorite episode and song:) 


Then the crunch was really on! Visiting Teachers arriving in half an hour and a Releif Society presidency meeting right after--here, my now totally trashed house.


Now I ask, how can I clean all the live-lon-day and get a nowhere, but Ben and I can get the entire joint in tip-top condition in no time?!?



Well I was grateful for his help.
I even got my tree put back together! 
Just as I typed that, I heard the dreaded shattering noise the results it this....

 Had a nice visit. Had a great meeting (was glad Ben went out for a man-date, cuz we went pretty late)


And the next day, 
we just made  play dough cookies instead!

This is McKye "Lion King" shirt...get it? Makes me chuckle every time he says it.

Look what I made!

TADA! my very own

The Family: A Proclamation to the World subway art!

I was gonna wait til the whole wall was "complete"(we'll see how long that takes seeing as I had the "vision" for it 

before we had even officially bought this house over a year ago!)

But then I accidentally erased the post I had already spent too much time on today, and was feeling really bummed about it. 

So now you get to see this instead. 

I'm super happy about how it turned out.

With ALOT of help from a wonderful friend Cara and her fabulous vinyl machine, and her awesome playroom (which my boys promptly trashed!)

She was so patient with me, and, picking font picking (we actually peeled off the word happiness off and did it over). t was so nice to chat with her while we did my "project ". 

We thought her kids had what mine had, but they may have not...help a girl out and she infects your kids, what a way to say thanks. 

So sorry. 

And thanks. 

A big thanks. 

Couldn't and wouldn't have done it with out you!

And I'm glad I did do it, cuz I love it!

See the empty frames beside it above? 

Why is choosing a printing pictures always such a hard job!?!

We usually put it on our wall like this:

But let's face it, it's too small to really read. So I just picked some of my favorite lines and now I feel like I'm reminded of the principles every time I walk by it (which I may be doing a lot lately, just to admire my handy work:)

Principles like:

We did make one "mistake" I hadn't sized the word WORK quite as big and so the machine did it automatically and it ended up being one of the biggest words of all. But Cara said, she really liked it, because it really emphasized it 

"And" she as she put it, "let's face it, family is a lot of work!"

Now every time I look at I think, yup it's a lot of work and it's okay, because of all the other words.."eternal destiny", "Happiness" and of course, "Jesus Christ".

I, of course, eye-balled it, so it's by no means perfect (another useful analogy for family life!) In fact, the most crooked word, ironically, is "forgiveness"...but its okay I forgive myself!

Together with our actual family portrait, I just love it!

 Now the real trick is living by it!

Dreaming of fullness

I recently began reading the Book of Mormon again (Ben is a really good example to me, he's always lapping me)


At the end of the first chapter (1 Nephi 1:20) I have always written the word "THESIS".


My english background, made me pay attention to Nephi's words "I will show you...", basically he's saying this is my whole purpose on writing.


"I will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."


MAKE US: change us, increase our capacities, not a passive "here you go" help, but a grace that not only aids but builds and affects who you are!


Unto the POWER of DELIVERENCE:
deliverence from?
sin, effects of sin, regret, guilt,
doubt, fear, hopelessness,
individual weakness: impatience, indecisiveness, negative self-talk, temptation to compare


To deilver me from myself, unto my POTENTIAL.


From my natural man tendencies, reactions and "default" modes--to become a Saint through Christ's power, to be like Christ--to be full of love. 


For Christ-like qualities, like love, gentleness, meekness, to become my default!


Even when I'm tired, even when I'm "fed-up!"


I can become MIGHTY in my own endurance, in my temerance, in my long-suffering, in my godliness.


With these ideas in my head, I started posting my Relief Society lesson on dreams.
And it hit me, one of my "dreams" is me.


A better me.
A me who pushed through to who I could and was meant to be.


My dream is about becoming.


Conversely, my greatest frustrations in this life come from my own falibalness. My dream is to become like Christ. To think and feel and react like He would. To have the peace not of "perfection" but of those made pure, refined. The purity of His love, the singleness of His mind and purposes. No pride mixed in the motives, only love. 


That's MY dream. To be full up of love.


On Sunday I was "re"set apart, still as a counsellor in Relief Society but with a new President. I loved sitting there and hearing the blessings of the other sisters. The President was told she was "full of humility, and full of kindness". The other councillor (and having known her a bit now I thought this could Not be more accurate!) was told she was full of goodness, full of service, full of goodness."


I joked with Ben that I'm just "full of it", but than realized I'm very much still filling up, and I'm so grateful for the example of "full" women to teach and guide me. 


In the book Mary, Martha and Me, Camille Fronk Olsen paraphrases the Apostle Paul who taught of the fruit "of the flesh". She describes them as including "a sense of inferiority, pride, impatience, dissatisfaction, jealousy, and contention  (see Galatians 5:19-21) But as we read on in verses 22-23, ont he other hand we have the fruits of the Spirit, "love, joy, peace, longsuffering  gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, [and] temperance." Those good qualities those sisters through serving in the Spirit had "filled up on".


I've been thinking a lot about my "defaults", unfortunately the "fruits of my flesh"...my bit my tongue moments, or "the last straw, flying off the handle, the in-a-nut-shell my "not my best moment" moments (Sadly he ones Ben always seems to be around for! I'm try so hard all day and by the time he gets home I feel so spent)


I was reading in Daughters on My Kingdom (pg 46)

Sister Eliza R Snow said that the Holy Ghost "satisfies and fills up every longing of the human heart, and fills up every vacuum. When I am filled with that Spirit, my soul is satisfied, and I can say in good earnest, that the trifling things of the day do not seem to stand in my way at all.But just let me lose my hold of that spirit and power of the Gospel, and partake of the spirit of the world, in the slightest degree and trouble comes; there is something wrong. I am tired, and what will confort me? You can not impart comfort to me that will satisfy the immortal mind, but that which comes from the Fountain above. And is it not our privilege to so live that we can have this constantly flowing into our souls?"

Flowing in and filling us up, changing us.


Filling us with its fruits and freeing us of the trouble (not the challenges, not the hardship but just some of the trouble we cause ourselves by our reactions).


Oh to live up to our privileges!  To have that Spirit with us, to fill and fulfil us. To deliver us from ourselves, and through His mercy make us mighty.


Nephi's thesis. My dream.  A long process. But doable, day by day, relying on that Spirit.


So here goes another day...

Just for me

Winter is a hard for me. I know, why do I live in Canada right? 
I love Christmas, and I don't even really mind the cold, or the snow, but just because I don't mind it doesn't mean I bundle up my littl' hoodlums near enough and venture out. Between finding all the mittens, making sure they dont slip and get a face full of snow, which results in miserable cries that makes for our premature return indoors, where a pile of soggy winter cloths are shed in a pile for me, now exhausted, to deal with.  


So indoors we stay. Trying to make up for the sunshine with twinkle lights.  I miss my kids expelling gads of energy at the playground, and I miss my own morning runs (winter beds, seem so much harder to get out of!). Basically, even though by the end of summer I'm ready to snuggle on in for a family hibernation of sorts, cabin fever starts to seap in oh so quickly. 


Mostly I miss the light. 
My soul feeds on it. And up here in the Northern hemisphere, my soul starts feeling a bit malnourished.


I know I this sounds more like a February or even January post, but apparently I fad fast. 
So for any of you out there like me I wanted to share something that touched me.


It's Sister Bednar at the last BYU Women's Conference:

Today, I’ve felt that I should share a simple yet great lesson learned during our time spent
in Indiana that has continued to bless my life in countless ways.  Come with me to my busy life as a young wife and mother.  Elder Bednar was enrolled in a demanding doctoral program at Purdue University, far away from our families.  We had an energetic two-year-old—energetic’s kind of a mild word for the way he was—and a very young baby, very little money, and hardly any time to spend together as a family.  As we
struggled to balance family responsibilities, the rigors of school, and Church callings, I
became more and more overwhelmed with my duties as a stay-at-home mother and wife.  Many of you may have experienced some of these same emotions and frustrations.   After considerable pondering about my situation, I asked my husband for a priesthood blessing.  I was promised in the blessing that if I would exercise, get more sleep, eat regular meals, have meaningful prayer morning and night, and engage in more purposeful and consistent scripture study, I would receive the physical and spiritual tools to better cope with my circumstances and the discouragement I was feeling.
The reason I remember this blessing so clearly is because afterwards I thought: “Doing this is going to solve my problems?  These are typical ‘Sunday School’ answers.”  

In my prideful state of mind, I rationalized why I didn’t need any more exercise because chasing little boys around all day was exercise enough, why I couldn’t get in more sleep because of their young ages, and why I couldn’t eat properly every single day because I was just too busy taking care of their needs, and frankly, I forgot to eat breakfast sometimes, and then macaroni and cheese didn’t sound very good for lunch.  Since I was already saying my prayers and reading my scriptures most of the time, that part of the blessing was not even applicable to me. 

I suppose you could say I was like Naaman in the Old Testament, who was sent to the king of Israel to be healed of his leprosy but instead was told by a messenger sent by the 

prophet Elisha to “wash in Jordan seven times” (2 Kings 5:10).  Naaman was a bit angry
and refused to comply with the simple, prophetic injunction until his servants questioned
his motives.  “And his servants came near, and spake unto him, and said, My father, if the
prophet had bid thee do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it?” (2 Kings
5:13.)  

I’m sure if I had been directed to do some great thing like go on a relaxing Hawaiian
cruise, or enroll in an evening art or music class, or pamper myself with a new hairdo and
a pedicure, I would have seen the wisdom in responding to that kind of inspiration.  But
the small and simple steps that were required to receive the promised blessings seemed so
mundane to me.  

Thankfully, humility took root.  Over time I had to decide if I would continue on the path
of just going through the motions, or if I would accept and incorporate this guidance in a
more steadfast and heartfelt way, having faith that doing these things really could make a
difference. 

Over the years, I have found that retiring earlier at night and arising earlier in the
morning invigorates the mind and the body (D&C 88:124).  Regular exercise lifts my
spirit, clears my mind, and gives me added energy to meet the demands of my busy
schedule.   I can “run and not be weary, and … walk and not faint” (D&C 89:20). Proper
physical nourishment is an important key to unlocking spiritual “treasures of knowledge,
even hidden treasures” (D&C 89:19).   

I’m so grateful for the lessons I have learned about asking in faith through meaningful
prayer, not just saying prayers. “Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by
the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers” (D&C 112:10).   

I know and testify that I have heard the voice of the Lord speaking to me through the
scriptures as I have paid the price of more diligent, meaningful, and consistent gospel
study (D&C 18:34–36).  I have felt the power and the strength of Christ’s word in me as I
have faced the challenges and vicissitudes of life (Alma 26:12–13). 

I know by sad experience how easy it is to nudge off our plate of daily responsibilities
these small and simple things that can make such a great difference.  I know as we apply
these powerful principles, the blessings come. “By small and simple things are great
things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6). 

Entire talk found HERE
Or if you prefer the VIDEO

I had been feeling these very same "small and simple things" prompting. And likewise dismissing them, with very simliar rationalizations: I'm reading my scriptures, I chase my kids, I eat their leftovers, I hafta stay up late or I can't get anything done...


This talk really inspired me to follow through. I don't need some crazy new exercise regiem, or complicated meal plans, or some BIG change I just need to make small adjustments, small but purposeful alignments, re-focus energies in some seemingly small but significant ways.


Aw, the answers are so simply. Why do we insits on searching beyond into complicated and less effective solutions.


So I'm off to wash in Jordan, starting with less sleepy prayers as I'm going to bed earlier-- 
So goodnight.

Friday night excitement...

These little guys...

...were replaced by my oh-so-handy flameless candles and my latest read (livin' on the edge right, mixing library book and bath water!)

Twenty minutes of luxury for mamma...

Although the bubbles were provided by my ol' pals 

Woody and Buzz--oh yeah,  life of luxury!

I'll be...

Home.How do you NOT pull over and take pictures of the breathtaking-ness???

 And then decide even the fence posts are beautiful?!?

And then still not be satisfied??

(These may have been taken while I was driving...my eyes were on the road!!!... just through a lens...)

My favorite road in the whole world the one-- home.

A friend of mine, laughed at me the other day when I mentioned our eventual plans to settle in Cardston. 

Oh yeah, she said, I almost forgot you're one of those Southern Albertan people with an inner need to "return to the homeland."

And I really am. 

I may not have ancestors who rolled in with the first wagon trains of LDS pioneers, or a recognizable last name (my parents are both converts to the church...and finally having lived in Glenwood almost 3 decades are close to not being considered "new")

Nope, I don't play the "who are you related to?" game very well...but I did spend my childhood looking at those mountains out our front window. I watched the prairie sky change, every magically evening, the sun melting and eventually catching fire as it dipped behind my mountains. 

That skyline, the immenseness and accessibility of the sky itself, the snow dusted fields, even the gusts from the ever so graceful arch of an eventual Chinook...they were mine. 

Part of who I was. And would always be.

I remember seeing Sister Ardeth Green Kapp's (also a  "Glenwood girl" and so instant hero of mine!) book Echoes from my Prairie, and thinking yes, there is something about this land that lets you feel like it's your. 

Really though,  I think I am the lands.

It owns my heart for sure.

I hear people complain about small towns and everyone knowing your business, but the reality is that with the knowing comes caring. 

I could blog away countless hours, telling stories of Glenwood people influencing, loving and inspiring me. Believing in me and through that example tenderly urging me to believe in myself.

Solid, faithful people, as constant in my mind as Old Chief itself.

To live, again, insight of Chief Mountain is on the dream list.

We'd attended a Sacrament meeting right after we were married, where this child's drawing was featured on the front of the program.

They'd entitled it "home".

It touched me enough that it's still in my journal.

So this Glenwood girl will often throw her kiddos in the van and drive that glorious road home.


Last weekend we went out to the Glenwood Nativity --yay! for the village that never changes adding some new traditions, and such a beautiful one.


Speaking of beautiful...
here's my Levi all bundled up for the show.

McKye was pretty raptured by the whole thing.

Quite frankly so was I. 

I left The boys sitting with Grandma and Grandpa and ran around trying to capture the night...

...not very successfully. I could see all these marvellous photos in my mind, but with all the tricky lighting, realized I had no idea how to take them!

CONFESSION: I'm not actually very good at photography....I like to take pictures and feel pretty good about my composition abilities, but when it comes to the ins and outs of exposures and what not, no matter how many times I try and learn it it doesn't stick...must be too many numbers)

Oh if you could see, what I saw! They had, what may have been thee entire primary dressed as shepherds, and their little faces, literally lit by the light of the angels above them, with these innocent expressions of pure wonder !I thought I was "in the sam country" in fields near Bethlehem!

They didn't take their eyes of those angles!

 It was ...glorious. So simple, so perfect.

Next year I'll just snuggle with my boys and do the "picture-taking" in my mind. 

The boys really enjoyed it. 

Especially the cookies, inside the church , afterwards. 

And the all the nativities on displayed 

(I could of taken pictures of McKye's excitement at once again finding the baby Jesus, "dare He is!!!!"...forever.)

Twinkle lights, children's faces, little baby Jesus'!!!
Just doesn't get any better. Unless, of course,  you add...


...hot chocolate!

Loved every minute of it!

Home.

Home. 
Pretty sure Heaven feels a little like driving that familiar road, looking at those familiar  mountains.

“Nothing will surprise us more than when we get to heaven and see the Father and realize how well we know Him and how familiar His face is to us.” 

― Ezra Taft Benson

Familiar. Loved. Known. 
A part of us, in a deep, sensed and inexplicable way.
Because He is ours, and we are His.
And always have been.


That constant, unchanging love is what 
my mountains remind me of.


So yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing them everyday, one day, maybe even out my own  living room window.