As I've been re-listening to General Conference, whilst doing laundry, dishes or driving (the usual) and one concept grabbed me. In two different talks.
It was the idea that the when we love God, it has a power to change us from within.
I like if/then and many times in the gospel I get them reversed.
I want the "then" without understanding the "if".
I have a lot of bad habits. I can be rather pleasant at church and with friends and acquaintances. But my family gets to see my full on weakness-- all too often. They see my short fuse, and impatience. They see me "snap", "loose it", and full on "go berserk" more often than I'd like to think about.
I can yell and freak out with the best of them, but instantly feel remorse and seething guilt.
I wish I was one of those moms that just seems soft-spoken and sweet oh so naturally, but alas, I am not.
It's one of my biggest struggles.
My "natural mommy" takes over and doesn't yield to the Spirit, that's whispering love into my heart that can't hear cuz it's pumping so fast with the latest infuriation (which of late haas been yet another accident in McKye's undies...6 months of potty training....it's getting old folks).
Kids forgive. And even though I'm sensitive to how my meanness affects their little developing self-worth, I also am a big believer that the product of our parenting is us and that this is something I'm meant to get a handle on. Parenting is a refiners fire and my temper needs to get melted away like the darn dross that it is.
I get frustrated with myself and my repeat offensives. I'm always looking for the IF's statements that will result in my own niceness increasing, especially within my own home.
Pres Uchtdorf's talk offered one: