Sunday, July 17, 2011

May never think of this hymn the same

Done a lot of driving lately. 12 hours to Boise and then back again.  
I like listening to talks while I drive. AC and auxiliary in you are my friends.

I listened to this talk 
He quotes Hymn 129 (about 15 minutes in), but instead of having us think of ourselves and the Lord, he said to think of our children coming to us.
Where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When, with a wounded heart, anger, or malice
I draw myself apart searching my soul?
Where, when my aching grows?
Where, when I languish?
Where, in my need to know?
Where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
Can we, as loving parents, be the the answer to these needs?
[Do we] answers privately.
[Reach their] reaching.
In [their] Gethsemane, [are we their] friend?
Gentle, the peace [they] finds
For [their] beseeching.
Constant [we must be], and kind.
Love without end.
Pres Benson talk: our young people need love and attention. They need empathy and understanding, not indifference, form mothers and fathers. They need parents time"
"Praise your children more than you correct them," he counseled. "Praise them for even their smallest acheivents...Encourage your children to come to you..with their problems adn questions by listening to them every day."

"My a plea to save the children, "President Hinckley has said. "Too many walk in pain and fear, in loneliness and despair. Children need sunlight...They need kindness and refreshment and affection. Every home, regardless of the cost of the hom, can provide an environment of love which will be an environment of salvation."
One more quote I may have shared in the past but I just LOVE it.
"It is my personal approach that creates the climate.
It is my daily mood that makes the weather…
I possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or dehumanized." ---Haim Ginott, Educator
One quick application example: 
Mckye is in a yelling phase, which can easily dry up my patience reserves and "escalate" emotions very quickly. 
I think it was that same talk above that suggested trying to say what you wish your child had said,                             in a tone you wish they'd used.
POP-swiggle!!!! POOOOOOOOP-Swigggggglllllee! He screams.
"Oh, popsicle please mommy." I use my best primary president voice.
He's pretty good at figuring out he'd better "try again" (this may be becoming our family when I burst into the bedroom this morning where my unwitting husband is enjoying a Sunday sleep-in and I loose it on him, having been up with Aaron again since 4 am...til I realize my poor hubby has no idea what's happening--he was, afterall, asleep. "Try again?" I say sheepishly as I apologize and instead content communicate my desire to have him get up and bath the boys and get them in church clothes,  which he, of course,willingly does).
Oooo, tangent! Anyways. It's pretty simply. And even if it's NOT effecting McKye's level of respect (which I do think it is) it's totally reminding me of the respect I need to show, if I expect it of my kids. 
Time to return to actual parenting instead of just writing about it.
Bottom line: the world'll be tough enough to our kids. They need us to be tender. To be on their side, at their best and at their worst. They need to be able to "turn to us" for peace and solace, and usually a little snuggle.


Grammarules said...Best Blogger Tips

This is one of my all time favorites. I spent many a late night singing this in my head when I was worried about my kids when they were teenagers. I think it helped me stay sane.(As much as I ever am)