Some thoughts on Family photos (complete with family photos!)

 It's been a beautiful fall and I kinda wanted some autumn family pictures. 
Sooooo, I coordinated some outfits and handed my sister the camera at Thanksgiving and told her to take our picture. She did good huh!

Best of McKye

Best of Aaron...

 And everyone starts getting tired.... (me and Ben still holding strong!)

 A little location change down the block...

 Then I took some of my boys. 
My beautiful, funny, love them so much boys.

Just about to call it quits, 

when a ladybug got me some nice candids, 

and started a whole whack-load of pictures of these crazy brothers...

 My handsome Benny, patiently enduring pictures,
this was just me setting up the shot, but I kinda love it of him.

 There. Fall photos. Mommy is happy again... for a while ;)

A few things have made me think about family pictures lately.

You see, this beautiful girl, had asked me to take her wedding photos, and I was feeling horribly out of practice and therefore very, VERY nervous.

So I decided to do a few family shoots for a couple friends, to get all practiced up and remember what it feels like to take a non-iPhone photo! Had so much fun with these awesome mommas and each of their families, trying to get that "framable shoot" along with some unique ones to capture the unique relationships and characters within each of their homes.

Well, the big day came and a morning full of wet, dreary, snow was not making me feel any better. I was rounding up umbrellas determined to still shoot outside.
In the end, these two were so cute and practically glowing with their young love their was just no messing it up.

And even though the weather ended up cooperating (other than it still be pretty cold, forcing us to run and warm up in the car a lot) we still used the umbrellas as props in a couple shots.

But it was at their family dinner where I really started thinking about family photos, histories, journals. 

Kaleena's parents have both passed away and her family wanted very much for their presence to be felt. Her older sister went through her mom's journals and dad's life history, letters anything where their voices and feelings were captured. Then they had a beautiful slide show with family photos and excerpts from their writings being read by voices representing them. 

The effect was beyond touching. 

Her mother over and over again expressing gratitude for her children and the great joy that being their mom brought her. 

Her dad, giving wisdom and advice in loving, fatherly concerned ways. 

 All the while images fading in and out: everyone in Christmas sweaters, the family at the beach, awkwardly posed by the side of the road by some landmark during that epic family road trip. 

As the one in our family, usually requesting these photos be taken "K, guys everyone look this way!" The slideshow made me think, yup, as annoying as they may seem in the moment, they matter. 

On our trip to Disneyland last month, I reminded my kids every morning, "What is Mom's favorite part?" And they'd reply "pit-chures!"

And so I constantly rearrange, back up and organize all the incoming jpegs, and lug the camera around, endlessly clicking. 

I coordinate the outfits and make everyone suffer through another session of "Bretzke family photos"...because to me it matters. 

I type on this blog (not as often as I should), so that one day when my kids need to hear my voice tell them how much I love them, it will be here.

Cuz I do.

I am grateful and humbled by everyday I get to squeeze your little hands (singing Beatles songs) and request little kisses from your tiny perfectly puckered lips. Grateful to watch you grow. To see your wonder and excitement at the world I tend to forget is so phenomenal. 

It is an honor to be your mom. 

And as I sit at the computer and watch the random pictures scroll on the screen with pictures of you learning to walk or various past birthdays, I'm reminded, it's not gonna last forever. At least not like it is now. You and me. A little world, so tight and often messy but oh so good.

That one day, it'll be me sitting looking through photos, left to them and the memories they illicit. 

Or maybe it will be you, looking through photos, hopefully glad I was your mom. 

Which reminds me I have photo books to catch up on!

Even if every photo I ever took was deleted I hope you will always remember this:

I love you!

You were meant to be mine. And I'll never stop loving you, because an eternity together sounds 

just right.

PS Thank you Kaleena, for the privilege of playing a little part in this new beginning in your forever family! I know your parents were smiling just as big as you and Justin!