Sunday, June 10, 2012

Lullabies and silent prayers

How could it not feel like enough?
My constant exertion, still so far?

This is what my heart leaked out to the Lord tonight, as I knelt silent at my bedside.
My prayers often turn from words to feelings thrust heavenward.

Then from the other room I heard the music from the whirling primary CD that serenades my sons' sweaty-sweet slumber.

What does the Father ask of us?
 ...have faith, have hope, 
live like His Son, 
help other's on their way.  

that's it.
that's all.

My disappointments, my frustrations, my soul wringing anxieties were springing from contrived expectations of what I "ought" to be accomplishing, too far removed from theses simple instructions:

Have faith Have hope. Help others.

My wordless prayer continued. Gratitude floating now from my calmed heart, beyond my ceiling to my Father, who knew just what I needed to hear.



Link to the song I heard
Posted by at 11:38 PM 0 comments

Ben's little sisters

The post about Jaci got me all nostalgic ( I remember using that term once and my roommate saying..."Oh no are you going to throw-up?" ha ha, get it nausea/nostalgic, oh boy)

So here's some gooders form the Ol' scrapbookin' days.

Jaci was THEE cutest kid ever...til me and Ben made our own;)



The "Three Little Girls" aren't the only ones who've grown up;)

Posted by at 10:38 PM 0 comments

Does this scare anybody else?





"We will never have a greater opportunity to teach and show Christlike attributes to our children than in the way we


disciplin them."


An opportunity. I need to remember that.


This is from What Manner of Men Ought Ye to be?" By Lynn G. Robbins
Seriously, my favorite talk of conference!
Posted by at 10:34 PM 0 comments

The real enemies of Womanhood

So lately (I wrote this post almost a year ago!) I've been reading books set in times and places where woman, and the societies they were a part of.  were totally convinced that woman were worthless.


Some good books. But I've found it a bit depressing.
I believe so much in woman, and so to read stories where having a baby girl born stillborn was considered a blessing, where daughters were looked at as burdens, where wives were abused as man's property. Their only worth? Producing sons (Hey! Bretzkes specialize in sons :) Even between woman, tradition dictated competitiveness instead of support and friendship. Overbearing mothers in law, spiteful concubines. It was so foreign from the world of woman,  sisters, and friends that I enjoy daily, woman who, honestly I could not survive without.


It all just hurt my heart.


I was talking through some of my feelings with one of my bestest friends, a friend who I connect with daily, whose thoughts and ideas have become intertwined so much with my own. Really I don't understand how I survived before we started our daily phone chats.


 She, like she always does, had some wise thoughts for me. 


 She said that she felt like that was one of Satan's greatest lies fo all time: the woman are worthless. She went on to say that one of the reasons so many amazing things can happen in our day, is because of the restoration of the empowerment of women. 


And then how sneaky of Satan, to come right back out a try reversing his tactic. 
Heavenly Father tells us the truth, "You are amzing, you can do anything!"
and Satan conters with the subtle lie "If you can do anything, why on earth would you stay home and raise kids?"


It is not the historical roles of womanhood that oppress women. It is sin. Unrighteousness in all it's forms is what brings degradation, inequality and misery. It always has and always will. 


Age-old challenges of womanhood, when meet with eternal principles (faith, hope, love) can be consecrated, hallowed, as can we. 


The answers do not lie is abandoning our God-given roles, or "matching" the immortality of conscienceless men. It's not aout men VS women, at all! 


It is men AND woman against evil, together. 


I'm amazed with the many good women (and men) who survived difficult eras, who did their best in the societies they lived. But I am so extremely grateful for the gospel culture in which I get to raise my family, with secure truths,  including an understanding of the eternal identities and worth of all of Gods children, His sons and His daughters.










“The world’s greatest champion of woman and womanhood is Jesus the Christ.”James E Talmage
Posted by at 10:25 PM 0 comments

"Out to get us" #1 out of 57 drafts

I was talking on the phone with a friend (see a theme developing) and she said, "Isn't it funny, we know God loves us, but sometimes we get in our head that He's out to get us?"

And I guess He does want to "get us"....get us back to Him, get us to grow, get us to be all that He knows we can become.

The conference talk I read this morning by Elder Samuelson had 10 things to remember about testimony...

First, everyone has worth because we are all children of God. He knows us, loves us, and wants us to succeed and return to Him. We must learn to trust in His love and in His timing rather than in our own sometimes impatient and imperfect desires.

He wants us to succeed. Is working with us to help us succeed.

2 Nephi 24:26 explains that

He doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world; for he loveth the world, even that he layeth down his own life that he may draw call men unto him. Wherefore, he commandeth none that they shall not partake of his salvation.

Everything He does is for our benefit, for our growth and spiritual development.
He's on our side.


Are we on His?
Posted by at 10:01 PM 0 comments

Monday, June 4, 2012

Poopy post procrastinated



So apparently I'm not the only one who noticed my blogging has been a little non-existent as of late. 
I have my reasons, though I'm not really ready to share (no, I'm not pregnant).

But seeing as my cute friend left this on my facebook timeline:

"I know it hasn't been forever, but I need a blog update."

She even gave me some "blog-starters"
AND then my other friend kindly reminded me I just taught Relief Society.
 ·  ·  · See Friendship


So here I sit on my porcelain "office chair", ready to try blog.

My kids splash in their post FHE bath (not splish-splash mind you, but rather full on tsunami's caused by their favorite game of holding onto the little handle thingy and then sliding/crashing into each other)  their construction paper Jaredite boats turning into insta-mush (fun while it lasted...which was 3 seconds to be exact).

Inspiring post on motherhood here we come...




Then Levi pooped in the tub. 
He must have felt my attempt to continue typing despite his floating-feces an act of defiant-neglect because he proceeded to 

throw. his. poop. at. me.

I know. I should be shocked. Appalled. Disgusted. 

And yet, in my mind, with a mental shrug I think
Nothing I can't handle kid. 


I already endured your brother thrashing and screaming all the way home from the mall, because I had the audacity to try and go buy myself a couple pairs of flip flops.

I dressed and redressed, that same brother who can wet his pants and still "go" on the potty like a little race horse and then still expect stickers as he steadily pees his way through his whole drawer of undies.

I listened to the manic clamour of you two "playing", where squeals and giggles of delight can erupt into hits and hollers in a split second and then back into fits of glee only to explode once more into a loathing-filled screeching match.

I already watched Aaron heart wrenching sobs turn his (apparently) dusty cheeks muddy, with no idea what set him off. And taking a good half hour to calm him down again.

I've vacuumed (again), picked up (again and again and again), laundered, and fed and soothed and negotiated my way through this whole day...so, go ahead, I think--
 a little poop slinging ain't gonna phase this mamma!

But I digress. I'm suppose to be blogging my lesson. Copy paste. Copy paste. 
Thats all I need to do. Put up my lesson, full of all it's lovely inspiring quotes from inspiring people.


But before I could even open the file, McKye happily called out "I just pooped too!"

Maybe brownies and the Bachlorette is all that's gonna happen tonight.

Sorry ladies. 


Yup, tomorrow. I'll rock an awesome blog post tomorrow. Promise. 



After all, that same poop slinging monkey, sure was fun to cuddle with on the swing today.


In the mean time, 
here's a great inspiring post a friend of mine wrote.

Why didn't I think of that in the forst place!?!?!




Posted by at 7:47 PM 5 comments

Monday, May 28, 2012

The Runaway

Since I was a little girl, I've loved paying "Runaway". 
Don't worry mom, it was never really me running away, and not from you, only from imaginary orphanages, run by oppressive, Miss Hannigan-type "Aunt gertrude"s 


So when my friend invited us to "runaway" with her to her families cabin, I was so there!

As fun as making memories on family "vacations" is, 
or even I nice gettaway with the hubby...

there is just something about a girl's trip!

So we put on our favorite "plip-plops" and loaded up Crystal's "vinnie-van",
 left our collective 19 kids (!) with daddies and grandmas and just had thee best time.


What did we do? Well...


We talked....and talked and talked some more. Talked on the drive. Talked round the table, then moved the talk to the couches when our butts got sore. Talked the whole first day away. Talked in to the night. 


We'd try and go to bed, but then wander back in, not willing to miss an ounce of conversation!






We slept. I slept! I went to bed way later than I ever do at home and didn't sleep in crazy long or anything. And yet I was so incredibly rested! The first night, when I didn't wake up once between my head hitting the pillow and waking up...amazing! I was practically giddy when I saw the time on my phone. Can't remember the last time I didn't have a single interruption in the night...usually it's more like a steady stream. 


 Basically, undisturbed sleep= heaven!






Speaking of heaven.... the cabin, the area, it was all perfect.



Aaron would live this, hey?!?




We ate... whenever we felt like it, instead of according to the designated schedule of our toddlers little tummies.

Isn't Amanda darling, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen? 

She brought her waffle iron just so she could make us pumpkin waffles the first morning.













We were so glad she did. 
Delicious! 


We had a little freezer feast and delighted in not having to cut up anyone's food for them!

 And of course we cooked over the fire.









We relaxed. So unaccustomed to the quiet, we soaked it up. Reveled in showers free of little fists pounding on the door, crying for
"Maw-mee!" (Ironically as I write this, my three year old is insisting I play xbox with him, getting mad if I don't do just the right thing...good thing the little hugs are worth all the exasperating, brain numbing).  

We rocked out.  And discovered Andy has the best playlist (I wrote down so many songs to download!) And we played in nice and loud so we could sing along without really hearing ourselves (every time I even hum around the house McKye says "too loud!" or "No like songs"). 





You girls owe me a dance party by the way...with Zac Efron in attendance please!



We shopped. Which I think I'm actually getting better at! I've had some patient teachers/mentors. Right Mands? Were you so proud of me???3
We may have got a little excited over the price of butter.

Guess who scored herself some yellow pants???

.


We ate some more. Yummy, picture worthy Mexican.



While we got a quick phone-fix with the restaurant's wifi.

And shopped some more. And snuck in some more talktime before heading to the check out.

And after a long day of shopping...we ate again.






We had a great time. 
And came home to 
our kiddos noses anxiously pressed up against windows, awaiting our return, 
and little voices asking "Whad'ya bring me?!?"
Tubby excited legs running with out-stretched arms. 
Their little bodies feeling slightly heavier, 
and their little faces oddly older since our departure only days ago.
 Tired looking husbands ready for reinforcements and thank you snuggles.  

And our mommy hearts, ready again to keep going...
until the next girls trip! 
(next weekend??? We wish!)

Posted by at 2:17 PM 5 comments
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